Building Your Child’s Self-Esteem by Living in the Now
“Now is a gift, that is why it’s called the present.”
Have you ever had your kids look at you impatiently and roll their eyes and say, “C’mon! Live in the NOW!”?
Did you know that behind the sassy-ness, there is actually wisdom in those words? Think about it for a minute. All we really have is right now in this very moment. You don’t have yesterday, you don’t have tomorrow, you don’t even have 5 minutes ago. It’s all right now. Read more
How to Build Self-Esteem in Your Kids: Part 5
“I CAN is 100 times more important than IQ”
Book Smarts Aren’t the Only Way to Measure Intelligence
One of the major flaws in our public education system today (at least in my humble opinion) is the focus on standardized test scores. A child’s level of intelligence is NOT determined by how well or how poorly they score on a test. This form of traditional testing only reflects one form of intelligence. If you don’t make the grade on these tests, you will very likely be labeled as possessing only substandard intelligence compared to the rest of the world.
We all know what these kinds of labels can do to a young child (or adult for that matter) and how destructive they can be to self-esteem. A person who does poorly in school may be a complete genius in building things with their hands. A person who failed every class through school might just have an emotional intelligence that is off the charts and is able to connect with and help other people in a very powerful way.
I’m not saying that there is no place for standardized tests, and I understand the school system’s need to place some measure on performance. What I am saying is there are other ways to not just measure intelligence, but to build intelligence (and self-esteem).
I’m also not saying that you have to go out and single-handedly reform the entire education system. What I am saying is that there are simple ways for you to provide these opportunities for your child to strengthen their own intelligence and self-esteem in the comfort of your own home and with very little effort on your part. Read more
How to Build Self-Esteem in Your Kids: Part 3
“Why compare yourself with others?
No one in the entire world can do a better job
of being you than you.”
The Second Step in Building Self-Esteem in Your Kids: Honoring the Individual
In my mission to parent positive … one of the things I noticed very quickly after my second son, Xander, was born was how different he was from his older brother, Eli.
To all you other parents out there, this probably doesn’t sound like rocket science to you, but each day I am in awe at their differences in behavior, mannerisms, and interests. It’s pretty remarkable!
Step 2 in Building Self-Esteem: Treat Each Child as an Individual
It only makes sense that different kids are going to have different requirements. In parenting, there is one fail-safe rule to go by … ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL! One of the most damaging things many parents say to their children is “Why can’t you be more like your brother?” or “Why can’t you be more like your sister?” Read more
How to Build Self-Esteem in Your Kids: Part 2
“You must love yourself before you love another.
By accepting yourself and fully being what you are,
your simple presence can make others happy.”
The First Step In Building Self-Esteem in Your Kids: Laying the Foundation
Do you know how the Great Wall of China was built? One brick at a time. Yep, this enormous wall, one of the only man-made structures visible from space, was laid one brick at a time.
Your child’s self-esteem is built in much the same manner: one piece at a time. Let’s take a look at this first piece.
Ever Feel Like You’re Being Watched?
One of the most powerful things I’ve learned raising children is that they are learning from you, all the time. They take no breaks. They take no vacations. They are always watching, always learning, whether you want them to or not. It is the way God designed children, and there is an excellent reason for that design.
Your children are watching you instintively, learning on so many levels, because they are preparing themselves to live on their own in the great big world. Like animals in the wild learn from their parents how to get food, find shelter, what dangers to avoid, etc your children are undergoing the same learning process.
- They are learning about human relationships.
- They are learning about how to care for their bodies.
- They are learning what is safe and unsafe.
- They are learning how to treat others.
- They are learning how to treat themselves…
All of this, just by watching you. You are laying the foundation for your child’s life in your everyday activities. We are going to focus on the last in this list in this post – they are learning how to treat themselves. How are they learning this? By watching the way you treat yourself.
Principle #1 in Building Self-Esteem:
Do Unto Yourself As You Would Have Your Children Do Unto Themselves
Action speak louder than words, right? One of the best lessons you can teach you children is to model self-respect.
Notice how you treat yourself.
- Do you berate yourself when you knock over a glass of milk? “I’m so clumsy”
- Have words like, “Man, how could I have been so stupid!” when you forgot to bring back the overdue library books when you set out on your errands?
- How about this one, “I am so fat!” when you are trying on clothes at the store.
It might not always be this blunt. And it doesn’t even have to be out loud. Your kids pick up on your emotions caused by your thoughts. Sound crazy?
Have you ever walked up to a friend and just known when they were sad or upset? Your kids can do that too, they are even better at it than adults are.
Kids can feel when you are upset. They can sense that you are being less than kind to yourself and they are storing that in their minds that, “Oh, this is how I’m supposed to act as well.”
60 Second Tip: Model Self-Respect
First, I want to make sure you are aware of this fact – You are a divine being. You are made in the Image of God and you are here for a purpose. You have unique gifts and talents and the world is a better place because you are in it.
Now that we have that out in the open, live it! Do you think God ever berates Himself? I think that is highly unlikely.
One of the best ways to show God gratitude and respect is to love and respect yourself. You are, after all, one of His highest creations.
How do you do this?
- Be kind to yourself
- Forgive yourself for past mistakes
- Be patient with yourself as you make more mistakes These are just learning opportunities if you choose to see them that way.
- Respect your body Make healthy food choices. Get out and exercise and enjoy this incredible world we live in. You don’t have to start running marathons, just get out and go for a walk. Go to a park. Get out into nature.
- Learn to really love yourself I’m not talking about arrogance or conceit. I’m talking about developing a good, healthy sense of love for yourself. You are an incredible being with unlimited potential! That alone deserves a healthy dose of love and respect!
This may sound like an overly simple concept. But don’t let that deceive you. Loving yourself is the most important thing you can do for you children.
Remember, kids can spot a phony from a mile away. If you tell them to love themselves while you despise yourself, they will see right through you and the lesson will be lost.
So take 60 Seconds today and show yourself love. Say it out loud! Write a love note and post it on your mirror. Read it out loud everytime you walk past it.
I’d like to end with the quote from the top of this post…
“You must love yourself before you love another.
By accepting yourself and fully being what you are,
your simple presence can make others happy.”
Follow this quote and loving yourself, you will make you children happy just by being around them. You will be teaching them one of the most important principles of developing a rock-solid self-esteem!
How to Build Self-Esteem in Your Kids: Part 1
“Parents need to fill a child’s bucket of self-esteem
so high that the rest of the world can’t poke
enough holes to drain it dry.” ~Alvin Price
Why do You Need to Pay Attention to This Post?
Whether the kids are excited for this or not, the new school year is just around the corner. While children learn many wonderful things at school, they are also often exposed to other kids, teachers, and situations that can greatly impact their lives – and not always for the better!
It is vital that your kids’ “self-esteem bucket” is filled to overflowing so they can withstand the turbulence of childhood.
What is Self-Esteem, Anyway?
In a nutshell, self-esteem is the opinion you have of yourself. This can be good or it can be bad. We form this internal opinion from feedback from external sources – our parents, friends, teachers, and other people who influence our lives.
Why is Self-Esteem So Important?
Self-esteem is our perception of ourselves and our own self-worth. Read more
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If there was one book that really changed the way I felt about being a parent and the way I am raising my children, it is How To Teach Your Baby To Read, by Glenn Doman. This book introduced me to the genius that is inherent in every child and how to provide an environment to awaken and nurture that genius. I feel more engaged as a parent, and my kids love it, too. This is a must read for any parent who wants more than just average for their children. Click here to get your copy today!
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