Building Your Child’s Self-Esteem by Living in the Now
“Now is a gift, that is why it’s called the present.”
Have you ever had your kids look at you impatiently and roll their eyes and say, “C’mon! Live in the NOW!”?
Did you know that behind the sassy-ness, there is actually wisdom in those words? Think about it for a minute. All we really have is right now in this very moment. You don’t have yesterday, you don’t have tomorrow, you don’t even have 5 minutes ago. It’s all right now. Read more
How to Build Self-Esteem in Your Kids: Part 5
“I CAN is 100 times more important than IQ”
Book Smarts Aren’t the Only Way to Measure Intelligence
One of the major flaws in our public education system today (at least in my humble opinion) is the focus on standardized test scores. A child’s level of intelligence is NOT determined by how well or how poorly they score on a test. This form of traditional testing only reflects one form of intelligence. If you don’t make the grade on these tests, you will very likely be labeled as possessing only substandard intelligence compared to the rest of the world.
We all know what these kinds of labels can do to a young child (or adult for that matter) and how destructive they can be to self-esteem. A person who does poorly in school may be a complete genius in building things with their hands. A person who failed every class through school might just have an emotional intelligence that is off the charts and is able to connect with and help other people in a very powerful way.
I’m not saying that there is no place for standardized tests, and I understand the school system’s need to place some measure on performance. What I am saying is there are other ways to not just measure intelligence, but to build intelligence (and self-esteem).
I’m also not saying that you have to go out and single-handedly reform the entire education system. What I am saying is that there are simple ways for you to provide these opportunities for your child to strengthen their own intelligence and self-esteem in the comfort of your own home and with very little effort on your part. Read more
How to Build Self-Esteem in Your Kids: Part 4
“I am afraid to show you who I really am,
because if I show you who I really am,
you might not like it–and that’s all I got.”
~Sabrina Ward Harrison
The Third Step in Building Self-Esteem in Your Kids: Your Child is Not His Actions
This is one trap that is very easy to fall into. Let’s say your daughter brought home her math test from school with a big red F on it. Does this make her a failure? What if your son totally dropped the ball (literally and figuratively) at the football game last night? Does this make him a failure doomed to a lifetime of nothing but failure?
No, it certainly doesn’t. It just reflects the level they are performing at in that particular moment in time. It has no indication on future performance or potential.
A Child is a Person Who Acts
A child isn’t their actions, they are just little people who are acting. These actions create reactions, or results. We are in complete control of whether we deem these results as good or bad. It really is your choice. As you learn to see your “results” as just feedback and an opportunity to learn and grow, all results become good. Mistakes are a chance to learn and grow.
If you excessively punish a child for their “results” you remove the learning opportunity that will benefit them for a lifetime. Punishment may correct the behavior, but the child is acting out of fear rather than a deeper understanding of cause and effect.
Now let’s make it absolutely clear that I’m not saying that there should be no consequences. There absolutely should be consequences – both good and bad – for deserving actions. What I am saying is that we should give our kids the opportunity to learn from their mistakes and help them through the process. Read more
How to Build Self-Esteem in Your Kids: Part 3
“Why compare yourself with others?
No one in the entire world can do a better job
of being you than you.”
The Second Step in Building Self-Esteem in Your Kids: Honoring the Individual
In my mission to parent positive … one of the things I noticed very quickly after my second son, Xander, was born was how different he was from his older brother, Eli.
To all you other parents out there, this probably doesn’t sound like rocket science to you, but each day I am in awe at their differences in behavior, mannerisms, and interests. It’s pretty remarkable!
Step 2 in Building Self-Esteem: Treat Each Child as an Individual
It only makes sense that different kids are going to have different requirements. In parenting, there is one fail-safe rule to go by … ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL! One of the most damaging things many parents say to their children is “Why can’t you be more like your brother?” or “Why can’t you be more like your sister?” Read more
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If there was one book that really changed the way I felt about being a parent and the way I am raising my children, it is How To Teach Your Baby To Read, by Glenn Doman. This book introduced me to the genius that is inherent in every child and how to provide an environment to awaken and nurture that genius. I feel more engaged as a parent, and my kids love it, too. This is a must read for any parent who wants more than just average for their children. Click here to get your copy today!
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