Should You Keep Your Kid Out of Kindergarten?
In a recent article in the New York Times, Pamela Paul tacked the touchy topic of whether parents should wait a year to put their kids in kindergarten.
This is a tough topic with many pros and cons. Delaying kindergarten a year gives kids more time to develop fine motor skills needed for reading, writing, and holding still for 8 hours a day, however, on the other hand there are social ramifications of your child being a year-and-a-half younger than their peers. Read more
How to Build Self-Esteem in Your Kids: Part 5
“I CAN is 100 times more important than IQ”
Book Smarts Aren’t the Only Way to Measure Intelligence
One of the major flaws in our public education system today (at least in my humble opinion) is the focus on standardized test scores. A child’s level of intelligence is NOT determined by how well or how poorly they score on a test. This form of traditional testing only reflects one form of intelligence. If you don’t make the grade on these tests, you will very likely be labeled as possessing only substandard intelligence compared to the rest of the world.
We all know what these kinds of labels can do to a young child (or adult for that matter) and how destructive they can be to self-esteem. A person who does poorly in school may be a complete genius in building things with their hands. A person who failed every class through school might just have an emotional intelligence that is off the charts and is able to connect with and help other people in a very powerful way.
I’m not saying that there is no place for standardized tests, and I understand the school system’s need to place some measure on performance. What I am saying is there are other ways to not just measure intelligence, but to build intelligence (and self-esteem).
I’m also not saying that you have to go out and single-handedly reform the entire education system. What I am saying is that there are simple ways for you to provide these opportunities for your child to strengthen their own intelligence and self-esteem in the comfort of your own home and with very little effort on your part. Read more
How to Build Self-Esteem in Your Kids: Part 4
“I am afraid to show you who I really am,
because if I show you who I really am,
you might not like it–and that’s all I got.”
~Sabrina Ward Harrison
The Third Step in Building Self-Esteem in Your Kids: Your Child is Not His Actions
This is one trap that is very easy to fall into. Let’s say your daughter brought home her math test from school with a big red F on it. Does this make her a failure? What if your son totally dropped the ball (literally and figuratively) at the football game last night? Does this make him a failure doomed to a lifetime of nothing but failure?
No, it certainly doesn’t. It just reflects the level they are performing at in that particular moment in time. It has no indication on future performance or potential.
A Child is a Person Who Acts
A child isn’t their actions, they are just little people who are acting. These actions create reactions, or results. We are in complete control of whether we deem these results as good or bad. It really is your choice. As you learn to see your “results” as just feedback and an opportunity to learn and grow, all results become good. Mistakes are a chance to learn and grow.
If you excessively punish a child for their “results” you remove the learning opportunity that will benefit them for a lifetime. Punishment may correct the behavior, but the child is acting out of fear rather than a deeper understanding of cause and effect.
Now let’s make it absolutely clear that I’m not saying that there should be no consequences. There absolutely should be consequences – both good and bad – for deserving actions. What I am saying is that we should give our kids the opportunity to learn from their mistakes and help them through the process. Read more
Positive Parenting Recommends: Inspirational Children’s Book “How Big is God”
How Do You Explain God to a Child?
We picked up another great find at the library the other day (I just love the library)! I loved this book so much I had to order a copy for our own library.
The book is “How Big is God?” by Lisa Tawn Bergren and was illustrated by Laura J. Bryant.
Why do I love this book? [...Read More] Read more
Positive Parenting: Toddlers Celebrates Independence Day Everyday!
As an Amercian, my family and I (as well as the rest of the country) just celebrated Independence Day. My kids are old enough now that they really enjoyed the fireworks will talk about them until the next 4th of July.
While the Nation’s Independence Day comes only once a year, my 2-year-0ld, Xander, celebrates his own Independence Day every day! His favorite phrase these days is, “No, Mommy! I will do it by myself!”
Have those words ever crossed your toddler’s lips? [… Read more
Raising Children: Questions, Questions, Questions
The other day when we were getting groceries, my 4-year-old (a very inquisitive little fellow) initiated one of his infamous questioning tirades that feel more like an inquisition.
Eli: “Mommy, what are those red things on the ceiling?”
Me: “They are smoke detectors, Sweetie.”
Eli: “What are they doing up there?”
Me: “They are there to let us know just in case there is smoke in the store.”
Eli: “Why would there be smoke in the store?”
Me: “Sometimes fires start from bad electrical wiring, or a machine might spark, or something…” *grasping at straws for what to tell a 4-year-old about how a fire might start in a grocery store*
Eli: “Is there a fire in here right now?”
Me: “No. We are totally safe, Sweetie!”
Eli: “How do you know that, Mommy?”
…And so the conversation continued for the remainder of our grocery trip and thus my son began his current obsession with smoke detectors and all other fire safety equipment.
Are You Intimidated?
Some parents might be intimidated when their child asks them, “What does that mean?” and you don’t have a way to explain it that their child can understand. Frankly, I didn’t know what to tell my son when he asked how I knew we were safe in the grocery store.
Those moments can be a little intimidating and that your child is somehow questioning your authority, but your kids won’t think any less of you if you don’t have an answer to every single question they pose to you. They just want to learn.
Do your child's questions intimidate you?
Instead of gruffly halting an interrogation session with your child, try sucking up your pride or dignity or whatever it is that is making you feel intimidated, and go look online with your child make a game out of asking our all-knowing friend, Google. Or go to your local library and search out answers.
Show them where they can find the information. “You know what? Mommy doesn’t know that. Let’s go find out!” You are teaching your child such a valuable skill because then they will know where to find information as they grow up and they are looking to learn about certain things.
You will be giving them a valuable skill that they will use for the rest of their lives.
Positive Parenting: Why Baby Talk is Detrimental to Your Child’s Well-Being
Does Size Indicate Intelligence?
Often parents assume that for some reason because children are small and they can’t talk and they can’t wipe their own noses and they can’t wipe their own bums, that they must be unintelligent, which is completely untrue!
Why Baby Talk is Completely Unnecessary
So we often talk down to them and use smaller words or baby talk, which is such a disservice to your child! Your child is absolutely capable of using the big words. You can read to them from the dictionary at night as a bedtime story and they would be absorbing the big words that you may not even be able to pronounce or understand yourself, but they are registering these words in their minds and it is building their vocabulary.
The Dictionary as a Bedtime Story?
Those are the words that they are going to use as they grow up. If you use talk baby talk with little Sally or little Jeffery as they grow up, as soon as Sally and Jeffery turns 4 or 5 years old, all of suddenly the cutesy phrases that used to be so adorable when they were younger, “I want a drink of wa-wa” or “Mommy, look at the bow-wow” are no longer cute.
All of a sudden it’s baby talk and they are sometimes even punished or made to feel that they did something wrong when in reality they are just using the words that you taught them to use. Now they have to relearn the “Proper language,” when they were perfectly capable of learning it in the first place.
100% Genuine! Give ‘Em the Real Thing!
One parenting tip I strongly emphasize to parents who are raising children, is to use the real words, use the real phrases when talking to your child because your child is capable of learning it.
Positive Parenting Recommend: Inspirational Children’s Book
The other day at the library my 2-year-old found a book on the shelf and excitedly handed it to me. Now, most times when he picks a book it’s one of those kinds of books that probably spend a lot of time on the shelf. This time, however, he picked a gem!
Excellent Children's Book for Raising Confident Children
When you are raising children to live into their infinite potential, you are going to need some awesome parenting tools.
This is an easy fun read that inspires children and teaches them that the sky is the limit!
Here is the first line of the book:
“Just like Snoopy, what you can achieve is limited only by your imagination. YOU CAN BE ANYTHING!”
I love this book, my kids love this book, and I know you will love it too!
Positive Parenting: Calgon…Take Me Away! Finding Serenity in Parenthood
Positive Parenting Reality Check -
Some days all you want is this:
A day to yourself where you are completely pampered, go an entire day where no one demands anything of you, where you can go to the bathroom all by yourself, and some time to just be you!
But many days, as a parent raising children
you often spend your days like this:
Well, you probably aren’t the one crying and throwing tantrums, though you may very well want to do so. After a few hours of one of those “crazy days” filled with sibling rivalry, bickering, whining, and discontent you may feel ready to run for the hills in search of your sanity.
But guess what? You are still responsible for these amazing little people who are testing your patience.
So what do you do?
As a mom of two energetic boys dedicated to practicing positive parenting, I’ve had ample opportunity to come up with ways to maintain sanity.
Our families live about three hours away (no grandma or grandpa to call on to babysit) and my husband works 14 hour days. That leaves a lot of time for me to be with my boys one-on-one during the good, the bad, and the ugly.
So here are a few parenting tips I’ve learned in the trenches of motherhood:
#1 Perspective - this is one of the most valuable parenting tools I have in my tool belt. Taking a moment to inhale deeply and look at my kids in a different perspective and separate myself from whatever drama might be going on helps me to see them as the incredible little creatures they are.
Yeah, I may not be wild about their current behavior, but I remind myself that my kids are not their behavior. Once I make that distinction in my mind and remind myself that they are not intentionally out to drive me insane, I am much better equipped to handle the situation with love.
#2. The Power of Distractions – when the drama begins to reach the boiling point, a change of scenery is an incredibly powerful distraction! I load the kids up in the car and we go to the library, find a new park, go for a walk, go play by the river, or just go for a drive and listen to some fun music. A change of scenery never fails to change the mood.
#3. Read Something Inspirational – Actually, most of the time I listen to something inspirational. I do this everyday so I can fill my own cup. Even if you take just five minutes (either in the morning before the kids get up or at night after they go to bed) and read or listen or watch something that fills your cup, you will have so much more to give your family in daily life.
Whether you read an inspirational book, an inspirational quote online (I regularly post inspirational quotes on Facebook), watch a quick video of a baby laughing on YouTube) it will work wonders to change your mood.
A Gift for You
From one parent to another, I would like to give you a tool that has helped me find serenity in my daily life.
Here is an MP3 recording of James Allen’s Serenity Chapter from his classic book, As a Man Thinketh.
Click on the link below to listen to this 4 minute audio. Enjoy!
James Allen’s Serenity Chapter
Are You Addicted to Technology?
Parents in a Predicament
In the busy world today, it’s so easy to get swallowed up by all the cool new gadgets and electronic equipment – cell phones, texting, iPhones, iPods, iPads, laptops, portable dvd players etc.
Is Technology Taking Over Your Life?
The New York Times recently published an article “Your Brain on Computers: The Risk of Parenting while Plugged In” that discussed how many parents are paying more attention to their cell phones and laptops than they are to their children. Click Here to read more.
Footing the Bill
So who pays the price when we begin to lose ourselves in our electronics? Our kids! They get shortchanged our time and attention.
No one wants to steal from children, right? Yet when we let technology take over our lives, we are robbing our children.
How can 60 Second Parenting help?
One of the awesome things about 60 Second Parenting, is that even on your busiest of days, all you need to create a meaningful interaction with your child is 60 Seconds.
Do you think you can put down your iPod for 60 Seconds and give your child a great big hug, look them in the eye and tell them that you love them, ask them how their day went and then listen for the answer?
That’s really all it takes. Those 60 Second moments will add up through the years and create a rich storehouse of love and positive memories that both you and your child will cherish.
So go ahead, take 60 Seconds right now and give your child a big smooch and let them know how important they are in your life!
Please comment and share your thoughts on the place technology has in parenting today.
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Magnifying Minds, LLCBabies can READ!
If there was one book that really changed the way I felt about being a parent and the way I am raising my children, it is How To Teach Your Baby To Read, by Glenn Doman. This book introduced me to the genius that is inherent in every child and how to provide an environment to awaken and nurture that genius. I feel more engaged as a parent, and my kids love it, too. This is a must read for any parent who wants more than just average for their children. Click here to get your copy today!
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